Are You Hanging Out With The Right People?

We see so many people spending the majority of their lives frivolously passing time away trying to get through the week, so they can make their long awaited escape to the weekend; a moment’s relief from the dullness of their daily grind.

But what happens when you’re surrounded by these people every day? Surrounded by their passivity to live their lives under someone else’s rule? It’s so easy to just carry on, thinking this feeling of unfulfillment and boredom is the norm: to ignore your inner most ‘secret’ desires to do something different.

Something I’ve learned over the years is the importance of being selective with who you allow your mind and character to be influenced by. I say this because I was aimlessly going through life doing the exact opposite, with disastrous results. I used to associate with the wrong kind of people – people who counted their worth on how much they took rather on how much they gave.

And guess what? I ended up depressed, miserable and completely out of love with my life. I was doing everything possible to sleep my way through each day, hating where I was and most of all, who I was becoming. My associations were amplifying all of this. They weren’t at all the best people to help me thrive, or even cope, for that matter.

I urge you; look around you. Who do you spend most of your time with? What kind of people are they? Do they challenge you to be better? Or do they keep you where you are? It’s easy to remain stuck if everyone around you is ‘fine’ with feeling stuck. One way to make real progress on yourself and in your career is to surround yourself with the right kinds of people for you.

One of the best ways to influence your behaviour and drive real personal change in a more positive way is to change your environment. Psychologists such as Robert Dilts examines this in his theory of Neurological Levels. The theory suggests that when a subject is placed in the right environment, it will thrive.

But how can you apply this to yourself? I’m not suggesting abandoning all of your friendships, shutting down Facebook and blocking all your colleague’s numbers. What I am suggesting, however, is to fill your immediate environment with more of the kinds of people who inspire you. Surround yourself with more of the kinds of people who will help you become the best version of yourself.

Here are some actionable ideas:

  • Volunteer for a cause or organisation you believe in.
  • Donate your time or skills to help at a startup/business you’re inspired by, or interested in.
  • Check out and see what cool events are happening in your area.
  • Join a Tribe at Escape the City.
  • Find interesting groups & people on Facebook/Twitter/YouTube and follow them. Fill your newsfeeds with more interesting people.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do your 5 people energise you? Excite you? Push you to be better? If they do not, go and find the right five…

Because they’re out there, waiting to be friends with someone just like you.


Keshav Bhatt is a writer, speaker & professional coach. His work focuses on helping people to get what they want out of life and make a difference through practical science-based ideas on building better habits, productivity & lifestyles. Check out his weekly YouTube videos here.

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