Notes from Last Night: "How to Live a More Passionate Life" with Charly Cox

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Dissonance State: “The Black Cloud Place”

Dissonance. Sounds like a fancy word, doesn’t it?

Chances are that if you are reading this article, you’re suffering from dissonance. In the career context, dissonance is that gloomy place where your hopes and dreams for your career no longer feel like a reality; you’re miserable, lost, “stuck,” and your job is the complete opposite of what makes you happy.


Inner Mind Chatter

Charly Cox, a renowned leadership coach and speaker at The Escape School last night, highlighted to us what deep down we already know, but don’t want to admit: we are our own worst critics.

We are mean, unkind and harsh to ourselves. We talk to ourselves in a way that we would not even talk to our worst enemy. That little voice, that incessant mind chatter: “you are crazy”, “you are not good enough” “you will fail”. These negative statements going round and round in your mind are the cause of that feeling of being “stuck”; knowing you want to make a shift out of your current unhappy career state, but not believing that you can make it to the other end. The other end also being known as the “resonance” state.


Resonance State: “The Light at the End of the Tunnel”

Charly’s trick for getting out of a state of dissonance and “seeing light at the end of the tunnel”, is to figure out what your purpose in life is. The best way to figure out your purpose is get to grips with your values.

Who are you when you are in your element? What is really important to you? In other words, finding out who the “real” you is.

Often when you don’t like something, when something drives you absolutely mad — it’s because it cuts across your values. Conversely, when you find and go with your values, you’re on a better track.

When you are living your purpose, you will be in a state that beautifully aligns with your values. You will feel happy and fulfilled and suddenly the need to buy handbags and shoes to fill a void will no longer persist (or at least the need will feel smaller). When you work from a place intrinsically linked with your values you will feel INVINCIBLE (cue superhero image).


Fear: “What You Resist, Persists”

Fear is a powerful force that is often heightened by the views of the people around you. It’s fear that makes you feel trapped within a certain job and lifestyle. The more you sit on something, the longer it eats at your ability to take action. When you catch your mind tormenting you with negative statements such as “I can’t,” sit back and dissect the statement. You will begin to realise that such negative statements have very little or even no truth whatsoever behind them. Don’t be crippled by fear.

It is no one’s place to tell you that you cannot do whatever it is you want to pursue. If you are determined enough, you can make it happen. Move forward. Fall over. And pick yourself up. But move…just move. And don’t let fear paralyse you.


The Moral of the Story

It’s simple (though admittedly far from easy): Listen to your values to get closer to your purpose in life. Be bold. Make a change that sits within your value system, and your work will no longer feel like a dissonant place. Do things you love and you will begin loving what you do.


Missed this event? Join us on July 21 for John Morgan’s take on “How to Live a More Passionate Life.”

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